Cant for the life of me think of how to start a blog post. Am I that out of practice? Oh well, just dive in...
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| Mums Siblings Together Bee Quilt (to get a post of its own very soon!) |
Am sitting happily with my metaphorical pompoms waving, watching mum (finally) quilt her siblings together quilt. Glad the sibling wont hear the language.... Mum is more like me when she quilts that she'd admit methinks.... I have completed 2 quilt tops this month, but unlike mum I admit defeat right away and am sending them to the lovely Ms
Strawberry Patch. No, of course I didnt remember to take a photo of the tops first. I cant remember what I'm doing in the time it takes to leave a room these days.
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| We made a quilt with these. Lots of these. I sewed and mum cut. I got the better deal!!! |
People, namely you lovely lovely bloggy people, have asked a lot how I am doing. I've been a bit non-committal and not really answered properly. On the one hand, I'm with my parents - all is well with the universe when I'm nearer them. I have my wonderful, bendylugged beautiful wee Molly moo, whom I could not possibly love more. Seriously, I well up and greet everytime I think just how much I love her, its unquantifiable. She gets so many kisses, I swear the day she learns to say "mama" will be ever so immediately followed by "gerrroff!"
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| Kawaii squared |
On the other hand. There's been some annoying wee things wrong. Infections, wounds, etc. Lots of big OUCH. Nothing at all serious though. But with Narcolepsy, pain means exhaustion. Pain means feeling shattered and miserable. Bit sucky. The extra weight I gained through pregnancy is not shifting cos I cant exercise and its taking its toll on my hip very badly. As is carrying a 7.16kg "wee" baby! So I'm getting less and less mobile, with no real medical help available, which is really upsetting me too. I'm sitting here in my maternity jeans cos none of my pre pregnancy jeans fit and I refuse to buy more clothes. I'm also wearing a nursing bra and nursing tshirt. Not that anybody wants or needs easy access to these boobies. I wasnt able to breast feed. But I'd spent over £180 on nursing clothes! Might as well wear them... Oh. And my hair is falling out. Apparently its quite normal for 50% of women to start losing their hair after pregnancy. The things you learn after the fact.... So, I try not to freak out at handfuls of hair coming out every time I brush, wash or just bloody touch my hair. I am such an attractive bundle right now...
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| My wee bundle... |
Its a scary thing, having a baby. Its a little more scary when you are not 100% healthy. I worry constantly about how capable I am, or will be. I would be truly stuck without family.
Oh you have no idea how many times I've edited all that for TMI....
It would be easy to get caught up in "if I didnt have bad luck I'd have no luck at all" bullshit, but I've got more sense than that. I've got amazing family, wonderful friends, and the bestest little babby in the world. My cup runneth over.
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| We are surrounded by love in the gifts from friends |
To take my mind off things during the nights I must have entered a few hundred giveaways in the last few weeks - not that I won any of course. I've been ooohing and aaaahing at all the "coming soon" fabrics from peoples photos at quilt market. I've been naughty and pre-ordered me some Mustang and Far Far Away. I'm telling myself not to feel guilty about the spend, when I've been so lucky to get quilting time with mums help. As I said, that's one finish and two tops on their way to Emily, AND the wee mini for my mini me ready to quilt. No' bad for such a walking disaster, eh no?
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| Girly wee mini for my mini wee girly |
For the quilting, I'm thinking a big heart spiral maybe? Well shucks I'm just full of the love these days!
Och sweetie, here's a massive punch in the arm (none of that hugging malarkey) one told me that id have such an existential crisis after the wee man bobbed along. Only just getting to grips with that and he's nearly 3. They keep things from you. You are doing really well but I don't want to get all patronising on your ass. So I'll change the subject and say I'm a Mustang gal too! (hugs anyway)
ReplyDeleteWalking disaster? Seems you're more of a limping one ;o) J/K! Anyway, wee pressie winging it's way shortly, and this one's just for you, so enjoy!
ReplyDeleteTook me nine months to feel anything close to normal after my first and I had no physical illness (just mental - seriously) It's a big change and you'll do great with awesome support in place. Huge hugs and I'm impressed with everything you've achieved! Heart quilting would be perfect :) xx
ReplyDeleteDoesn't sound like anything out of the ordinary to me - the girls are 7 and I am still blaming them for baby-weight!
ReplyDeleteYou didn't lose any hair when pregnant, it hangs on in there until you have other stuff to worry about and then falls out to scare you - not sure quite why we need more hair when pregnant but apparently we do!
Don't be too hard on yourself - you have your parents helping, which is more than most, I don't remember getting dressed for 4 months with the twins, thank goodness for Tesco delivery and daytime TV!
xxxx
Sorry to hear life is so tough at the moment. I can relate to the physical difficulties presented by chronic illness with a little one, and the weight issue. It sucks! So glad that you have a supportive family around you. Chin up lovely lady. Thinking of you x
ReplyDeleteMustang rocks!
Sorry to hear it isn't all rosy, but lovely that you feel up to blogging x
ReplyDeleteYay to great friends and family eh? Any kind of health issues are just shit and must be even more so when all you want to do is focus on the gorgeous little bundle. Hang in there because things can only get better. {{hugs}} x
ReplyDeleteMolly Moo is just so adorable! She will continue to bring you heaps of joy, laughter and love! You will most definitely get back much, much more than you can ever give! Enjoy all the support and love from your family and take your time getting well and adjusting to mummy-hood! One day at a time. jxo
ReplyDeleteMUUUUUSTAAAANG!!! I know I'm probably supposed to take more away from your wordies than that but I'm focusing on the pretties. *g* Your hair does get thicker during pregnancy, btw, so it's mebbes just getting back to normal. Mine did it too - it's v. alarming, I know. Kicking you when you're down an' all that! And you know we're all floundering along as best we can, right? I'm a stressed out mess currently with end-of-primary disbelief, holy-crap-secondary! panic and fucking-hell-not-more-shit pony care!
ReplyDeleteHang in there! Wish I could do more than just send you internet hugs and good thoughts but I'm doubling my efforts on the things I can do. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think most people are overwhelmed when faced with a little person depending on them - especially one as incredibly adorable as yours - even with more help and fewer additional complications so really, you're managing just the way most do. My migraines have been completely kicking my ass this spring and have been affecting my mood and energy levels - tough to deal with on even without tiny human responsibilities - so I get where you're at, at least in part. And since you've acknowledged all your blessings and luckiness, you are totally allowed to also have a "struggling" moment (or seven). Raspberries indeed! Take care of yourself. :-)
Ack....like Lynz said...you are just shedding your winter hair!:) My baby is 25 and I just lost that baby weight....then gained some back!;)
ReplyDeleteAdd some sugar and an angel food cake to those raspberries!;)
Sweetie pie, I'm sending love and hugs and good thoughts for you and the family. I have Chronic Fatigue and know well the crushing feelings of exhaustion; babies magnify those a hundredfold. Your quilt top i delectable and I know the others are very well made too. You're doing great despite what it looks like from where you're sitting.
ReplyDeleteI lost loads of hair too. The annoying thing is is that when it grows back, you have a fuzzy halo all through your hair, which is obviously a really great look ;) The things people don't tell you about having babies! It's rarely a simple path back to where you were physically and mentally, but it creeps up on you gradually! Loads of love to you all xx PS) The quilts look great :)
ReplyDeleteThings will get better soon, they have to! As for the hair thing, my hair falls out quite badly and has for years and whilst it's not making me look bald, it makes a bloody mess. I've been using Alpecin liquid the last week every day, just sticking it on my scalp, I think it's working so it might be worth trying it? If I run my fingers through my hair only one or two come out at a time now. Think it's on special offer on Superdrug online- at least it was when I ordered it. I have a quilt on it's way back from Emily too :)
ReplyDeleteYou are and will continue to be an amazing mum and will cope just fine. You just need to sort out the physical bits. Look how happy and adorable Molly is? Take all the support and help you can. Kiss Molly - luckily children love kisses! And sew.
ReplyDeleteoh bless you - it's so hard having a little one, and I can only imagine how much harder it is when there are health things too. One thing I can help you with is the hair - when you are pregnant your hair doesn't fall out like it normally does. Afterwards, all the hairs that hung on in there throughout the pregnancy fall out all at once. You're not really going bald - just losing in one go what you would normally lose over the course of several months. Get yourself a really nice haircut to lose the wispy ends and it will look much thicker again. Also, HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's true about the hair, it will be back to normal in a while. And the hormones do sort themselves out but it will take a while, at least it did for me and until then baby brain happens a lot. All balanced out by the adorable baby, at least. I am so glad you are able to be with your parents, the part about it taking a village to raise a child is true.
ReplyDeleteAh yes, the post baby molting. Totally normal but if it gets too extreme have your dr check your thyroid and vitamin d levels. Those are usually the culprit.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, Miss Molly is just perfect! No wonder you get in al the kisses you can.
Good on you for not editing out too much TMI!!! I honestly remember thinking how have they let me leave the hospital with a baby, and not because of him, but because of how I felt! Exhausted, emotional, scared, not being able to sit down and wanting my mum. (who was about to leave on a 3 week holiday!!) and that was without a medical condition!
ReplyDeleteHonestly my hair fell out in clumps and I ended up with a widow peek and thin thin hair, which has now grown back and fallen out two more times (for the next two pregnancies!!) there is a Solgar vitamin that I took for skin, hair and nails as I was so worried I'd end up bald!
Although everyone kept telling me to eat raw jelly cubes as well, not sure if it works!!! Mad elderly family members!
Just keep kissing that gorgeous girl and everything will be worth it xxx
I wore mat clothes for months and months after my eldest. Then I went out and bought stuff in a bigger size because none of my clothes fitted. So 2nd time around I was out of the mat wear quicker because I had the bigger clothes to wear!!! Littlest is 16m today and I've just shifted her baby weight by taking drastic action and doing a whole 30. So it is all normal!!! Seriously, if you can get yourself some clothes that fit you'll feel loads better about your self. Nursing wear sells well on eBay!
ReplyDeleteBe kind to yourself you're doing fab cc
Molly is absolutely beautiful. I have down days with Mia and just to see her smile at me when she wakes up in the morning makes me forget how grumpy and demanding of food she was yesterday (breastfeeding definitely has downsides). I hope you start feeling better soon!
ReplyDeleteBe kind to yourself, you're doing great, even if you don't feel like that. I'm out of the littlies now (my youngest is 10), but remember well that for a long time after having each baby I functioned on automatic, since I was too tired to think. I slept whenever I got the chance, and dozed often in between (and I did not have health problems). But I also did not have energy for trying to loose weight, or for sewing for at least the first year... On the other hand, I had no support network to speak off, so make good use of that. Enjoy as much as you can and ask for help as much as you can, too. It WILL get better!
ReplyDeleteGood to hear the good bits and hugs to ease a bit the bad ones. And Miss Molly is the best, I love her look in the first photo. And this girly quilt is so cute and fun.
ReplyDeleteIt does get better ....! And she is gorgeous and she will love you back!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing amazingly, actually incredible - new babies are tough (gorgeous but tough) even when your health is OK. When DS1 was about 12 weeks a friend asked how it was going and I burst into tears! It's OK to feel this way
ReplyDeleteJust wait though until Molly can kiss and hug you back - little people hugs are the best!
You're doing great. You have a beautiful baby girl there, who's obviously loved and thriving. What great support you have from your parents. Baby weight is different for everyone. Some lose it easy, some have to work at it, some don't lose it, ie me. Oh, and my hair fell out in handfuls too. I have thick, curly hair though so it was actually more manageable. Grew back more feral though!. My SIL has fine, blonde, straight as sticks hair and hers is falling out, she had a bub in February. She can actually see her re growth though when it comes, little sticky up bits along the hairline, which she hates. You're completely normal on the Mummy front!
ReplyDeleteOh, pet, it sounds like you've been having a really tough time - all those hormones flying round can't be helping, never mind the rest of it that you have to cope with. I hope that things are getting better and that you start to find your feet in your new role, it's a scary thing to know that your health is never going to be even close to 100% and adding in a little one who is depending on you must make it even more scary. Just know that we're all behind you and supporting you, even if we can't be there to be of any practical help. Take care xxx
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