You had a rough start before you came to us, and its no wonder really you had a bit of a screw loose.
We fell out a lot, I didnt like it that you beat up Miss Ellie for pure amusement. You'd seek her out and just go for her. You two were supposed to be friends. Big pity.
You had a bad reaction to the neutering and developed a massive low hanging gut - totally empty, not fat, not fluid, just saggy gut. Poor Harveynoballs!
I think you were at your happiest when my brother came home to live with us a while, boy did you love him! Two gingers together...
Moving house did a lot for you too, becoming an outdoor cat with your own big territory, master of your own house. You decimated the shrew population... You charmed everyone, the ministers cat welcoming people at the door, always coming to say hello to any visitor, sitting outside the church on meeting nights, waiting for dad. When I came to visit you were so happy to see me you ran the length of the garden to see me, gut flapping from side to side. I did love you buddy.
You were a wee shite though. You randomly attacked me one too many times for me to really trust you. You went for mum. You went for my man. You'd take a strop at dad and sneak off to deliberately crap in his room... Yup, there was something a bit twisted about you pal.
But the things I'll remember are these.
You dribbled profusely when you were happy.
You picked your nose with a single claw, and your nose was almost always scabby.
You LOVED feathers. OMG you went mental for a feather. You made a "hehehehehehe" noise and chased it obsessively.
You hounded anyone using the telephone, and loved the fact that it meant they couldn't move away from you. Using the phone meant leaving covered in white fur and drool....
You did team up with Ellie once - a joint effort one night got the biscuit tub open on the floor and we came down the next morning to the fattest, sleepiest, stuffed cats ever.
The other time you and Ellie joined forces was to hide inside the piano together the day we had workies in.
You once tried to sleep with mum and dad, and when dad chased you, you picked up his glasses and ran for it, dad stumbling behind you cursing you and yelling at mum to catch you cos he's blind without his specs.
You were a proper little tea-leaf. If I didn't give you enough affection when you wanted it, you'd steal something and disappear with it - my baccy, my specs, my phone. Not forgetting the time I dozed off and you buggered off with my bloody toast!!!
You'd always deliberately lie across my mans shins and go utterly prone and completely unshiftable. Made me laugh anyway.
You were not a bad lad. When we turned up here last year, bringing the hated wee cat and a screaming baby, I was all for you living in the shed, but you proved me so wrong. You didn't give a stuff about Ellie being here. You even let my wee girl dive on you and "cuddle" you when I wasn't fast enough to get her away from you. There would have been another move for you in a few months, and you would have been coming with us, not mum and dad, thats how much you'd changed and calmed down. I was going to take you with me.
But things happen. You were fine before christmas, but you faded fast. Well, I say faded but it was kinda the opposite wasnt it... seriously you ballooned...
The vet said your end would take 10 minutes this morning, but you were gone in a little over 60 seconds. Thanks for the reassurance that it was the right thing to do.
You will be missed. Just not by shrews.
PS. I'm sorry I said that bird must have committed suicide or dropped down with a heart attack in front of you. I'm sure you did catch it and kill it. Honest.