Just call me Auntie (social)

Ah the Festive Season...  One time of the year my Narcolepsy doesn't stand out quite so much as everyone over 25 feels knackered and falls asleep in front of the telly after eating!  Just maybe not quite so often as I do... And most people probably manage to leave the dinner table first..
Apologies for not blogging last week, I was way too tired, I tried a few times but just kept on falling asleep in front of the laptop.  Always interesting when I wake up and check web history...  When the hell did I look at penis enlargement?  Lesson, don't try to check your junk box on email when you are sleepy...  Not always bad though, managed to click my way into entering a competition last summer, and I won!  That is to say I got an email saying I'd won something and I had to do a bit of research and history checking, and found I had indeed entered a competition in my sleep.  Now my man is constantly reminding me to go to national lottery page whenever I feel sleepy...

Anyway...  Just as a wee catch up here are the last of the pressies I got done before Christmas day.

Cushion covers - my first go at machine embroidery...  Great fun! 

Cushion covers part two

Another pleaty bag, this time with pocket and keys clip.

I also managed two purses and a notebook cover, but, dopey mare, forgot to take photos before packaging them up for posting...

At the moment I'm way too tired to even go into the sewing cupboard, so I'm just day dreaming about all the gorgeous fabric I have, all the gorgeous fabric I want, and all the gorgeous things I could attempt to replicate soon...  No particular project in mind to do first, though my handmade Christmas recipients have all insisted I do something just for me first!  Which would be kinda nice.  In the meantime I just have to ride out this tiredness which seems to be coming in big waves every half an hour or so...  One minute I'm thinking I'll go and do something, and I don't even get as far as standing up before all the energy has evaporated out of my arms and legs.  And by the time I get over it, it will be New Year... 

I have to admit, I don't like New Year.  Everything about it makes me feel so, I don't know, inadequate.  I cant do "going out".  I get invitations, and I feel horrible turning them down.  But I am just not up to it - I cant stay awake for hours, meeting and talking to people is exhausting, and of course I'm terribly shy so even without the Narcolepsy meeting and talking to people freaks me out.  So add on the Narcolepsy and the fact that stress and worry makes it worse...  Then the paranoia creeps in - I get tired very suddenly and that often comes across to a stranger as disinterest or boredom or rudeness.  I've been told before that I can come across as stuck up.  Knowing this doesn't help!  On the rare occasions I'm actually managing to talk to people I can zone out for a few seconds, which doesn't sound bad but it means I miss a few seconds of conversation, so I'm quietly struggling to follow whats being said.  Again, this looks like I'm bored and not paying attention... 
And as if all this wasn't crappy enough, I have cataplexy in the back of my mind.  When it actually happens I'm usually okay with it and don't care too much what observers may think.  For instance my mans dad told me something last week and it was so funny I collapsed in a heap on the floor of the local mini-market!  He picked me up, I started laughing again and fell over.  He picked me up and held on to me til I stopped laughing.  I don't know exactly how many people saw it, and I didn't stop to look round.  I didn't care really, it didn't bother me.  But being in a social situation where people are all having a good time it hangs in the back of my mind and I cant relax and enjoy myself because I don't want it to happen. 

Then there's the drinking.  I'm turning into such an old fart its unbelievable!  I don't have anything against drinking.  I'm not tee-total.  But as much as I cant stand being the only one not drinking, I know that there's a 60% chance a drink will completely knock me out asleep, and lately a 30% chance that a drink will give me a hangover within 30 mins of consumption (weird I know, but seems to happen a fair bit) so I don't want to risk drinking when I'm not at home. 
So.  Rather than being the sour faced cow in the corner wishing she was elsewhere, I'm staying at home.  Me and Ellie cat will be sitting by the fire toasting a happy new year to one and all, hope you all have a great night!

xxx

P.S.  I think I've managed to put 3 slide shows of this years sewing cupboard makes on my blog, have a nosey if you like!